Confessions of a Dark Lord - Vol.2 Entry 12

<<Recording Initiated - Time-Date Stamp 8512.13 - 20:16:24:02 - Location: Tatooine - Darth Retuvisa's Private Chambers>>


The situation has gotten out of hand. I have to go, I have to run off for a bit and collect my thoughts. It wasn’t enough that Karolin did this whole thing with Samantha and the Force; my finding out that all of this was done over a year ago and that Karolin Forcewalking was necessary to save all of our lives....I will never understand the Living Force like she does, but I know enough to realize that you DO NOT alter the past, you DO NOT take things you are not supposed to and you DO NOT alter destinies. Karolin is paying for this, all of us are. The Force ALWAYSALWAYSALWAYS balances itself....

Samantha…my Samantha is gone. The Elder Samantha has taken her. Before I started to freak out, this ‘abomination’ contacted Vander and told him she had taken the younger version of herself, to spend some time with her. And to tell me that no harm would come to her. What?!?! No harm?!?! You are stealing my child and NO HARM will come to her. I need to figure this out and I would have spent my time here trying to do it, but…I can’t even be in my own house at the moment. And Vander!!! Pfft...don't EVEN get me started. How he can remain calm I have no idea!! It's like he planned it or something. His attitude concerning this has me on edge, which is another reason I am leaving for a few days.

The looks I get from Porchia. Why did I even come back here??? Oh yea…I know!!! It’s my kriffin house!!! Kriff her, she has no idea what we had to go through after I Mother died all she cares about is that we left. It was too much. First Mother then Marstel…I had to leave. Karolin did too.

I really don’t know where my sister and I stand anymore. I don’t hate her for what she did, I just got her back; but I can’t stay here and try to figure this out. I need to go clear my head. Apparently she is now wanted for murder on Coruscant; she departed this morning for the core worlds, but…murder?!?! How stupid is that, she wasn’t even here when this supposedly happened. The galaxy is heating up because of it and I sense a plot to not only defame my sister and I, but also drag the galaxy back to war…or maybe that’s an after effect. Who knows?

Add on top of that, Vander AGAIN!!!! I wear something for him, I drop him a hint, I make him dinner or spend extra time on him and he acts oblivious. Is he still punishing me for leaving? Is he punishing me for the whole debacle on Oricon? Is he punishing me for something I don’t even KNOW WHAT I DID!!! I do love him, I want him to ask me…but I am tired of waiting for him to find the perfect moment. I know he wants it to be the right time, the right moment. That will never happen for us and I would have hoped that by now he would have realized that.

Kriff it.

I’m leaving.

Tonight I depart for Zeltros and some much needed relaxation. If you remember from my previous journals, ‘Mr. Creepy’ is supposed to be joining me. I plan on forgetting everything and just allowing myself the time to be absorbed by everything that IS the pleasure planet.

I recall them saying…”What happens on Zeltros, stays on Zeltros…”


<<Recording Terminated - Time-Date Stamp 8512.13 - 21:20:48:33 - Location: Tatooine - Darth Retuvisa's Private Chambers>>